What can I do to help prevent getting a divorce?
Over the years while providing Christian marriage counseling I have been asked numerous times, “What can I do to help prevent getting a divorce?” The first place to start is asking yourself the question, “How do I view marriage?” In other words, is your view of marriage in line with how Jesus viewed marriage? There’s a snapshot picture of how Jesus viewed the marriage relationship in Matthew’s gospel:
Matthew 19:4-5, 4 And He, (Jesus) answered and said, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, 5 and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’?
Any married person can help prevent getting a divorce by embracing the views that Jesus had about marriage. Christian marriage counseling is designed to help couples apply the following biblical views Christ had about marriage.
During His earthly ministry Jesus held a least 4 views concerning the marriage relationship.
1. The first view of marriage Jesus held was that marriage was to be a merged identity.
Jesus points back to Genesis 2:24 when He says in Matthew 19:5, “and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH?'” So, the first human male and female were intended to be merged solely for each other. Each married couple is a reproduction of Adam and Eve, and their union is to be no less inseparable.
2. Jesus’ second view of marriage was that it should be an unbreakable union.
He said in Matthew 19:6, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”
Although it is easy to walk away from a marriage commitment here in our country today, Jesus doesn’t look at marriage as a breakable union, but rather, as a permanent, life-long relationship.
3. The third view of marriage held by Jesus was that divorce was not God’s original intent”.
The Pharisees continued in Matt. 19:7-8, 7 “They said to Him, “Why, then, did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND HER AWAY?” 8 He said to them,”Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.”
This was God’s permissive will but it was not so designed from the beginning. He permitted it to retain some semblance of order in the Jewish community.
4. The fourth view Jesus held concerning marriage was that divorce was permitted only under one circumstance—sexual immorality.
He says in Matt. 19:9, “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
It is extremely clear that Jesus’ view of sexual immorality is much more important and serious than how this present world views the topic. Not only is sexual immorality accepted in our society today, but it is also almost encouraged under the mindset that every person deserves to be happy. So, if your present relationship is not providing that happiness, then it’s ok to seek happiness elsewhere regardless of any promise, commitment, or covenant one has made.
Any couple who chooses to apply the above views of marriage that Jesus had, can, and will experience the life-long marriage relationship Jesus intended for couples to enjoy.