Is Viewing Pornography harmful to marriage?
Someone asked me once, “Is it ok for my wife and I to watch a sexually explicit video together to help ‘enhance’ our sexual intimacy?”
A more important question than the one above may be, “Why is it that I think I need to look at someone other than my marriage partner to be able to enjoy sexual intimacy with her/him?”
Let’s look at what Jesus said Himself . . . Matthew 5:27-28
“You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” NASU
Jesus transitions here from what the “letter of the law” said, (the physical act of sexual intercourse with someone we are not married to) to the “spirit of the law,” (the visual act of looking and becoming sexually aroused by someone to whom we are not married).
Looking at any image other than your spouse to get sexual arousal is “adultery of heart” according to Jesus.
Looking at pornography together or singularly is not only sin but is also very addictive. Research has shown that pornography affects the same part of the brain as a narcotic does.
In another place Paul tells us in Ephesian 5:18, “Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit.
The context here in Ephesians is “control.” Just like drinking too much wine can allow alcohol to take control of your body, watching pornography can easily take control of you as well. In this verse Paul’s point is that we are to allow the Holy Spirit to fill/control us and not some other element whether physically or visually ingested.
I think the writer of Proverbs said it best in Proverbs 5:15-17, “Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers.”
Pornography is addictive and will damage any marriage relationship.
A biblical counselor can help you address this addiction to bring you and your spouse to freedom in Christ and enjoyment of one another. Call today to begin your journey to freedom and enjoyment with your spouse.