Communication

One of the first areas that break down and goes south in relationships is the area of communication.   In this age which we are living the adage, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” could never be more untrue.  Our words can hurt, heal, lift-up or tear down, so one should never underestimate the power of one’s words.  The writer of scripture, James indicates this point when he wrote in James 1:19, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”

I tell clients that there are three basic ways in which we communicate:

First, the words that come out of our mouths, which most people think, and feel is the most important mode of communication. The Bible tells us that the Enemy loves to “steal, kill, and destroy” and one of the greatest ways he accomplishes this in marriages is through the hateful, demeaning words that often come out of our mouths.

Second, the words that we allow into our heads through our ears, which many don’t feel are as important as one’s spoken words.  Truly listening to your partner is a skill that too many couples struggle to develop in marriage.  Each of us have been created by God to expect that when we speak someone is listening to us.  When a person feels heard a strong sense of significance is produced in their heart and mind. 

Thirdly, the facial expressions/body language we respond with. Yes, our bodies speak!  Too many times in relationships a partner says something with his/her mouth, but their face is projecting a different message.   

Learning to master these three ways of communication helps a couple to avoid the pitfalls leading to divorce and leads to a consistently healthy and growing couple relationship. 

Struggling with communication with your spouse?

Call me and we can explore healthy ways you can communicate with your partner today!